Ace Of Spade

Ever have someone who knows your weaknesses and abuses it?
The fact that they know you can't live without them, they take advantage of that.

I remember when Ernel packs his things because he wanted to leave (I wonder why he have to call himself a man) he does this to test me if I would want to keep him. He had done this several times, and every time he walks out of that door, I call him back home. I cry out loud even if the neighbors hear it. I used to think that I must not care, this is the love of my life is leaving. He comes back home and I assume he thinks, "Hahah You can't make it without me, I win again and I will be keeping Sheila or Shyne still."

I sometimes want to hit my head so hard on the wall for my senses to come back. No one made me cry so hard before. No one embarrassed me this much before. No one abused all the love I had before.

One day, Ernel wanted to leave again and this time I told him, "If you don't want us fixed ever, then leave. But please don't come back or show up at my mom's house. If I cry and ask you to stay, don't turn back. You must be firm. If you don't love me, and you don't want me to love you, make me feel that you don't. Stop abusing me." So he decided to stay and convinced himself never to do that again, because I'll never stop him again.

Sometimes we think that we can't make it without them, but we sure can! If you are in an abusive relationship, you might want to think if you deserve that. If you have no senses, might want to try banging that head of yours.